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    January 21

    虚无.我的短发.嘻笑我的平淡如水.

    在闭塞的城市里.有闭塞的思维.我们不过是在通向死亡的道路上寻找到一些自己感兴趣的事情.并以此为傲.丢掉了一些自己舍不得的东西.以此为耻.反正总是好死亡的.总是殊途同归的.何必计较什么呢?
    昨晚突然被电话干扰.出去了.深夜而归.一个人,静静的躺在床上.听着MP3.抽着烟.想着如果.
    如果,有一天.我们都走散了.会不会还有机会再走到一起.我开始不敢回忆.因为我开始不敢直视自己的衰老.
    突然留了很久的长发就这样的,随意的剪了.家里人很是欢喜.我却很是失意.一直想留着长发,低着头.失去语言的一个人走在陌生的城市里.午夜在空旷的地方.席地而坐.点燃一支烟.自由的思考.闻着自己年轻的味道,给自己一个记忆的画面.
    其实.我与周围的人.都是喜欢小提大作的人罢了.总是夸大自己所受到的痛苦.觉得生无可恋的样子.可相比那些更为悲惨的人来说.我们究竟算什么呢?脆弱的小丑?博取同情的乞丐?
    开始不再计较.......开始有很强的忍耐力.开始发自内心的微笑.开始感谢上苍给予自己一个健全的身体.
     
    开始想.如果死了.该有多痛快.
     
     

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